Urban Family Doula

The Face of Birth

Urban Family Doula — Tue, 18 May 2010 16:36:45 +0000

I recently came across this wonderful teaser for an Australian documentary called The Face of Birth. It’s a film about pregnancy, childbirth and the power of choice. With all that is going on in New York City these days with the closing of St. Vincent’s Hospital and what that means for families here that would like the right to give birth at home, I thought it was worth taking another look at some of the families around the world that are also fighting for the right to choose.

I gave birth to my son 13 years ago in a hospital. I just did what I was told and it was frightening, not the empowering experience described by the woman in this video. If I had known then what I know now I would have done more research, read more. Not just the “What to eat” or “How to make your nursery safe” kinds of books, but the books that would have made me question, and wonder, and dig a little deeper when thinking about the experience I was about to have with my baby. I would have listened more intently to the stories of woman, braver and more intrepid than me, allowing myself to be guided by wisdom rather than fear. I would have sought out the compassionate and respectful care of an experienced midwife and I would have welcomed the nurturing support of a Doula before, during and after. But most importantly I would have made conscious choices, because choice is key. Choice is worth fighting for.

Also check out this blog post by Keith, RN called New York City is now a Home Birth Backwater.

Dearest Moms…

Urban Family Doula — Sun, 09 May 2010 16:56:57 +0000

Today take a moment for yourself. Have a cup of tea or sit out in the sun. Give yourself a hug and allow yourself a smile. And then accept the thank you’s big and small being showered upon you. Whether it be a flowering little beauty that was grown in the classroom by your little gardener, a handmade masterpiece of crayon and construction paper complete with misspellings and letters written backwards, a gloriously messy breakfast spread, or perhaps some other treasure wrapped up in a box and topped with a bow… These are their expressions of a profound love for all that you are to them and all the things you do.

That is no small thing. You hush away their nightmares and usher their dreams into the realm of possibility. Cheering them along through all their endeavors, applauding them for taking the chance, instilling in them the value of the experience. You kiss away their boo-boos and hold them while they weather heartache. You’ve got their backs, providing them with order and structure so that they can better navigate the world with all your thoughtful signposts and lessons for the young traveler. You give them the tools of gratitude, appreciation and respect so that they can see the worth of the simplest thing or gesture, opening their eyes to all the wonderful things life has to offer.

You indulge them too. Delighting together on the floor with a jigsaw puzzle. Outside on the grass in a game of hide-and-seek. Over bowls of ice cream and knock-knock jokes. Reading a story and doing all the silly voices. Surprising them on a random afternoon with a store-bought goody they’ve had their eye on. Turning up the volume and dancing with them, cutting that living room rug. That’s the stuff, showing them the magic of creating all kinds of happy memories.

Make no small account of your courage. From the moment that little baby is born into the universe and claims you as their mommy, you begin the emotional process of letting go. You let them find their legs and sort out their place on the planet. You do this even though every speck of you screams to hold on tight.

But most of all, the culmination of all your good work is the loving human beings you help them become. You show them all the ways in which to express love. Be it how you sing to them at bedtime, help them with their homework, hold their hands while crossing the street, cook their favorite meals, and the way you smile at them first thing every morning.

You are their everything.

Celebrate. You so deserve it.

Have a beautiful and Happy Mother’s Day.

Our very warmest regards,

Doris and Heather

Pregnant = Amazing

Heather Mullen — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 20:22:41 +0000

Every mother-to-be should have the opportunity to see themselves through the eyes of photographer Delta Hunter of DA Photography. A Brooklyn, NY based portrait studio, DA Photography is where people come to take what Ms. Hunter describes as, “truthfully beautiful images.”

Delta has been photographing women, men and couples for many years and loves seeing their “individuality and honesty unfold in the portrait process.” But what she loves best she says, is “seeing how happy people are once they receive their portraits, and realize how much more they are than what they’re used to seeing in the mirror. Truly unique and divine beauty.”

Oh how I wish I had met Delta just a couple of years earlier than I did. If we had met when I was pregnant with my son, and I had been brave enough to allow her to focus her lens on me, then maybe I would have been able to see myself the way the bold, gorgeous women in these photographs look to me now. At the time, like so many women, I felt a wide range of emotions about my changing life and body. I was tired a lot but so happy. I felt excited and extremely anxious, along with complete joy. I was bloated… really bloated, but my swollen fingers and ankles didn’t seem to get in the way of feeling, at times, strong and empowered. My partner did his part to make me feel sexy and amazing and his loving attentiveness did the job of keeping me on an even keel a lot of the time. However, on the day that I realized I had better take my wedding band off now or have it cut off with something very sharp later, I do believe that if I had been able to see concrete evidence of how I felt on some of my better days, I would have been able to focus less on my fat fingers and more on all that pregnancy had made amazing.

Delta Hunter, DA Photography

www.daportraits.com
delta@daportraits.com
917 842 2408

Goodnight Moon, Goodbye Books

Doris Palmieri — Sun, 18 Apr 2010 23:00:10 +0000

When I first read Goodnight Moon to my first newborn son, I couldn’t help but think, wow, he doesn’t know what a great green room is. Not a room. Not the color green. And I certainly had no notion of how I could possibly explain to him what “great” was. What would he think if I stood up on the bed next to him, spread out my arms, and uttered an emotionally weighted “GREAT,” gesturing to the room around me? What sense would he make of it? And so it would be with the rest of the pages… Bears and chairs? Kittens and mittens? Whispering? Nobody? Air? How would he learn these things? Grasp the complexities of their meanings? How would he come to understand language and the universe?

I didn’t climb onto the bed and spread out my arms. With his big, beautiful, newborn eyes, however hungry they were, he would have at best seen some blurry, crazy silhouette saying “GREAT” in his mother’s voice. I instead lay close to him, where I could feel him and he could feel me, and infused emotion and presence into the words I read to him, imagining I could somehow telepathically transfer my meaning into his young mind. I took him into the book with me, exploring a language that was magical and singsong, revealing a world, delighting in things like a comb, and a brush, and a bowl full of mush. But mostly delighting in this intimate, sweet and fun time we were spending together.

As he got older, he was able to express his feelings more, giving better clues as to his preferences. It was clear he enjoyed our read-alouds. He would wave his arms enthusiastically and kick his legs, smile and gurgle excitedly, and he would grab and chew on his growing library of board books. What fun it was when he began to point to the book’s pictures of the moon, the cow, and the great green room. How amazing it was when he began to say the words in the book. How incredible it was when he could point to the moon in the sky, or the cow at the zoo, and make the connections. More impressive still were the different ways in which he learned to use the word “great.”

When he was 5 years old he was gleefully, anxiously awaiting the arrival of his little brother. There was so much he was itching to share. One of the very special things he wanted to do was to read some very special books to the new baby. Getting comfy and cozy next to me, he began reading to my big belly, venturing into that singsong land, reaching somewhere deep to make the words come alive. Such tender, poignant, and pleasurable moments were these.

My youngest is now seven years old and moving on to chapter books. We have been giving away baby toys and clothes to babies we know, making room for “big boy” things. We have a collection of wonderful picture books we’ll be keeping, but the favorite old baby board books have finally made it off the shelves and into a cardboard box. It’s not easy letting them go. Quite an emotional thing, actually. Their pages bring memories of baby hands and baby feet, gummy smiles and giggles, and eyes that would follow you forever… I think I’ll hold on to the one book a while longer.

Goodnight stars… Goodnight air… Goodnight noises everywhere.

There are many places where one can go online to read about the importance of reading to babies. Here are some of them:

http://kidshealth.org/parent/positive/all_reading/reading_babies.html

http://www.babycenter.com/0_reading-to-your-baby_368.bc

http://www.pbs.org/parents/readinglanguage/baby/reading_milestone_baby.html

http://www2.scholastic.com/browse/article.jsp?id=10215

Goodnight Moon written by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd, is also available in other formats, including the fun, larger board book style “lap” edition.

Flowers and fashion!

Heather Mullen — Sun, 11 Apr 2010 18:01:27 +0000

Forgive me for stating the obvious but, IT’S SPRING! And along with Mother Nature’s glorious happy dance, comes the parade of fun and fabulous spring fashions for kids. I would never be so bold as to try to steer you towards one magnificent flower over another (although I am partial to those determined little crocuses), but with the crazy amount of styles and wide range of grooviness to choose from in the latest spring styles for kids, I thought I might be able to narrow the field just a bit.

Meet Dari Litchman (aka Papi’s Mami)!

Dari Litchman is a designer living in Windsor Terrace, Brooklyn. Her hip, sweet, whimsical line of designs for kids can be described as old school with a new school flair. She is inspired not only by her beautiful bubbly muse, Zoe, age 2, but also, as Dari says, ” her love of all things kitsch, Japanese, the 70s, rainbows, hearts, glitter, and mustaches.”

Papi’s Mami’s line can be found at www.papismami.etsy.com, and also at Sweet Charity and Sprout Kidz in Park Slope. When she is not making tees at home, Dari can be found at the computer designing textiles for the childrenswear market, or even face painting at a birthday party! Dari is heavily involved in her community and is a core member of Friends of Greenwood Playground, a group who plans events at a local playground in Windsor Terrace. On Saturday April 24th, Greenwood Playground will be holding their first ever Flea Market. You guessed it, you can buy Papi’s Mami’s goods there!

Enter, Johanna Resnikoff (aka Daisyhead Designs)!

Daisyhead is the creation and alter ego of former jewelry store owner and bookkeeper, Johanna Resnikoff. Using lyrics from the 70′s, 80′s and 90′s Johanna has created some of the cutest, silliest, funniest tees and onesies around… guaranteed to bring back memories! By letting our kids “represent,” she has given us tired, overwhelmed moms and dads, our cool back. My personal favorites are “Word to your mother” and “No sleep ’til Brooklyn!”

Johanna has always had a strong urge to create. She grew up sewing clothes from old sheets, totes from old clothes and lots and lots of pillows! After many years in an office during the day while designing in the evenings, she decided to unite the left and right sides of her brain and combine her business background with her burning desire to be creative. And as Johanna says, “Add some lollipop daisies to a Dr. Suess inspired nickname and thus, Daisyhead Designs was born.”

You can purchase Daisyhead onesies and tees at http://www.etsy.com/shop/Daisyhead and checkout Daisyhead news at http://www.daisyhead-designs.com/

Check out these lady’s shops and let us know what you think. If you can add to this short list of fab indie designers speak to us with a comment, we would love to hear from you!

Family Variety Show!

Doris Palmieri — Tue, 06 Apr 2010 01:00:57 +0000

If you’re up on cool, local, family fun, then you know you shouldn’t miss the Deedle Deedle Dees’ Family Variety Show at the Knitting Factory in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. The rock-in-roll show features the foursome and surprise guests both musical and literary that change with every themed performance.

There are upcoming shows on April 10 th & May 8 th, at 11 am. The Family Variety Show breaks for the summer and returns in September. General admission is $10 per person, or $20 per family.

Check out the recent Mommy Poppins write–up to learn more about the band, the show, and band leader Lloyd Miller’s singalongs. Lloyd has been educating and entertaining kids big, small and grown-up around town for years. You can find out more about his classes, singalongs, and even sample some Deedle Deedle Dee tunes at their website: www.theDeedleDeedleDees.com

Wear your baby!

Heather Mullen — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 18:31:07 +0000

As many of you may know by now, earlier this month the Consumer Product Safety Commission (CPSC), issued a warning to parents and caregivers about slings, stating possible suffocation hazards. Now, in response to this warning, Infantino, the company that manufactures the Sling Rider and the Wendy Bellissimo, has recalled one million slings. Although I know that this is disturbing and scary news brought about by some very real tragedies, it may also be an opportunity for raising awareness and education. Babywearing can be a wonderful and safe parenting tool that enhances breastfeeding, bonding, soothing and security, however, as with any piece of equipment we use with our children we need to be educated.

Here is just a small list of websites that may help:

http://www.mothering.com/radio (download their one-hour podcast with several babywearing experts)

http://www.babywearing101.com/ (great website, with lots of good safety information and links for tutorials)

http://wrapyourbaby.com/ (good information on the “how to’s” of babywearing)

http://www.facebook.com/BabywearingSafety (great place to chat with other babywearing parents, ask questions, connect)

Please feel free to add to this list in your comments…

and hold those babies close.

Hello world!

Urban Family Doula — Wed, 24 Mar 2010 00:00:13 +0000

Welcome to Urban Family Doula, a postpartum doula cooperative. We like to think of ourselves as an island of calm in the big city. Please check out our blog often for parenting information, reviews, announcements, and news about our services.